Grow up.

This has been just seriously weighing on me for a few days and I cannot get it out of my head, all of these thoughts keep playing over and over and over again. So now I am going vent.

I don't understand. Plain and simple. There's things in this world that didn't take too long for me to understand, some things that took a very long time to understand, somethings I still do not completely understand and then there are things that no matter how you try to explain or even justify that I just will never ever understand. And, obviously, this is one of those things... What I don't understand is lack of wanting to do something with your life and just settling for 'eh, this'll do'. I understand not knowing what to do with your life or being stuck, trust me been there and still semi doing that. Not wanting to do anything with your life & settling and being stuck & not quite sure on what you want to do ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS! Also, I don't understand excuses. I mean I've used them, I'm not going to lie. I don't know why I used them... Laziness perhaps? Who knows but I've grown out of that. Maybe I should expand on my misunderstanding of excuses. I don't understand the continual USE of them to enable yourself to not do anything.

So know that you know what I don't understand, let me set up a scenario for you: two people living together. Food stamps. Neither have a job or even want to pursue one. Children wanted. Living off people, like me and you, the tax payers, and special benefits and totally content with being trash. I MEAN SERIOUSLY?? Take pride in your life! Yeah sure, times are hard and jobs can be hard to come by but just don't sit around. Do something!! It seriously pisses me off to no extent. I don't want to be paying for lazy ass people who milk the governmental assistance program. Especially ones who want to bring children into it as well. If I wanted to pay for children, I would pop two or three of my own out! My money should not be going to bratty, snotty nosed kids whose bare feet mother is using stamps to buy cheese at Walmart because neither she nor her 'husband' feel like getting a job or going back to school to further their education. And what is even worse, even more infuriating, is knowing two someones like that. Once upon a time, 5 years ago if I had been told I would be feeling these feelings right now about one of those people, I would have scoffed in your face and told you how full of shit you were.

So now all there is left to do is disassociate myself with these two individuals. I am not going to be associated with people that are totally okay with being complete and total loser wanks that want to bring spawn into a situation like this. I know there are people on welfare and governmental assistances that are working hard and trying to get off of it. I know that and I'm not ragging on those people because they are TRYING. Keyword. The ones who use and abuse are the ones who get my veins big, it just makes me so mad.

I am not trying to say 'oh I am perfect... blah blah blah... I'll never be on assistance.' I am not perfect, I am far from it. Maybe one day, I will need help, who knows. I hope I never will need it but shit happens. And I am glad to know that I am NOT EVER going to be one of those wanks that abuse it, if it ever came to that.

I mean, doesn't everyone have a feeling like there is a meaning for their life? I know I do, I have no idea what the hell it is but I feel it. Most of the time I feel like I am blindfolded walking down a tunnel. I feel the light at the end of it but I'm not quite sure what it looks like or when I am going to get there. But its there.

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