Yuck.

If being married and having children makes a person this miserable then I want nothing to do with it. At this point, I'd rather die than ever ever get married. No thank you.

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Hmm.

I must have "After everything I say, make me feel stupid" written across my forehead. Because it seriously happens with so many people. Do I have a face in which people think I am just idiotic so they try to make me feel that way? I admit there's things I don't understand. But when I am talking about something I know about, DO NOT try and make feel stupid.

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Updates needed.

I seriously need to update about my summer and post my pictures. But for right now I just wanted to say this.

This current menstrual cycle I'm having is the WORST. I was watching Breaking Bad and he started coughing really bad which made me cough a bit and started gagging. I cannot stand the sound of coughing, thinking about it right now is making me want to upchuck my breakfast egg.

Go home Period. You're drunk.

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Wimpy.

I am seriously missing my mom right now, it's ridiculous. One: I don't feel too good so that automatically makes me needy. And two: my menstrual cycle is due any day now so that makes me doubly needy and a lot more emotional.

 

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Vacation!!

I have officially left state and I am now visiting family for the summer. So far it has been awesome. I landed here on the morning of the 16th and already have been to a Dinosaur Expo, shopping and visited with family. It's been great. Unfortunately, I have recently seen pictures that my mom and friends have posted and found out that it is nearly 100 degrees at home!! Which is amazing because usually our summers are only in the mid- 70s, if that. I left the wrong week hahaha. ;)

 

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Thunder.

My poor boy hahaha!! I am leaving out of state tomorrow night and hadn't been able to get Thunder to his Groomer to cut his hair for the remainder of the summer. And considering the recent significant rise in temperature here, he really really needed it.

Usually, it wouldn't have been such a big deal to have my mom take him to the vet to get shaved and have a spa day but his groomer is about 45 minutes out and both of my parental unit members work. Soo he was out of luck.

My brother and I decided that it would be a great idea to shave him ourselves. I think that we shouldn't quit our day jobs....

Hey at least he will be cool for the rest of summer haha.

 

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The pits.

Social networking sites and apps are seriously the pits sometimes. Some people make it so annoying because they only have idiotic things to say or stupid pictures to post. I don't care that you want follow4follow or whatever, I don't want to hear about personal drama. And honestly, I don't care that 'yo mayn' bought you a plastic hooker jewelry from the quarter machine. Post stuff when it's relevant to your age, not a six year old or an eleven year old. 

.... Maybe I should just turn this into a rant blog. Sheeshh, I've been moody.

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Grow up.

This has been just seriously weighing on me for a few days and I cannot get it out of my head, all of these thoughts keep playing over and over and over again. So now I am going vent.

I don't understand. Plain and simple. There's things in this world that didn't take too long for me to understand, some things that took a very long time to understand, somethings I still do not completely understand and then there are things that no matter how you try to explain or even justify that I just will never ever understand. And, obviously, this is one of those things... What I don't understand is lack of wanting to do something with your life and just settling for 'eh, this'll do'. I understand not knowing what to do with your life or being stuck, trust me been there and still semi doing that. Not wanting to do anything with your life & settling and being stuck & not quite sure on what you want to do ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS! Also, I don't understand excuses. I mean I've used them, I'm not going to lie. I don't know why I used them... Laziness perhaps? Who knows but I've grown out of that. Maybe I should expand on my misunderstanding of excuses. I don't understand the continual USE of them to enable yourself to not do anything.

So know that you know what I don't understand, let me set up a scenario for you: two people living together. Food stamps. Neither have a job or even want to pursue one. Children wanted. Living off people, like me and you, the tax payers, and special benefits and totally content with being trash. I MEAN SERIOUSLY?? Take pride in your life! Yeah sure, times are hard and jobs can be hard to come by but just don't sit around. Do something!! It seriously pisses me off to no extent. I don't want to be paying for lazy ass people who milk the governmental assistance program. Especially ones who want to bring children into it as well. If I wanted to pay for children, I would pop two or three of my own out! My money should not be going to bratty, snotty nosed kids whose bare feet mother is using stamps to buy cheese at Walmart because neither she nor her 'husband' feel like getting a job or going back to school to further their education. And what is even worse, even more infuriating, is knowing two someones like that. Once upon a time, 5 years ago if I had been told I would be feeling these feelings right now about one of those people, I would have scoffed in your face and told you how full of shit you were.

So now all there is left to do is disassociate myself with these two individuals. I am not going to be associated with people that are totally okay with being complete and total loser wanks that want to bring spawn into a situation like this. I know there are people on welfare and governmental assistances that are working hard and trying to get off of it. I know that and I'm not ragging on those people because they are TRYING. Keyword. The ones who use and abuse are the ones who get my veins big, it just makes me so mad.

I am not trying to say 'oh I am perfect... blah blah blah... I'll never be on assistance.' I am not perfect, I am far from it. Maybe one day, I will need help, who knows. I hope I never will need it but shit happens. And I am glad to know that I am NOT EVER going to be one of those wanks that abuse it, if it ever came to that.

I mean, doesn't everyone have a feeling like there is a meaning for their life? I know I do, I have no idea what the hell it is but I feel it. Most of the time I feel like I am blindfolded walking down a tunnel. I feel the light at the end of it but I'm not quite sure what it looks like or when I am going to get there. But its there.

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Oh happy day!

June 9th was my birthday! In the morning we had family photos on the bridge, which was GORGEOUS! And then in the afternoon I had some friends and family to come over to help celebrate with me. We had a BBQ and kids all played. Baby C actually slept most of time, he was so sweet visiting people when he was awake; and all the dogs had fun sniffing each others butts and playing. It was a very good time and I got some great gifts out of it as well (which is always a plus.)

 

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Hello

Well hello my lovelies.

It's been quuuuuuite a while since I blogged last. And unfortunately anything that I wanted to blog about that picture evidence is now ruined by yours truly. I accidentally deleted about 400 ish photos and now I am in the process of trying my very hardest to recover them. I am severely disappointed that I did this. Cross your fingers I can get them all or at least a majority of my picture memories back!

Besides being a complete twat, a few things have happened. My friend and I got matching tattoos; they're pretty awesome. My birthday is tomorrow, and my sisters was a few weeks ago (I can't remember if I wrote about that). Today I ran 5 miles at the Women's Run. I placed 99th in my age division of about 250 and I ran it in 21.26. I'm pretty proud. And next Saturday I will be participating in the Color Run, whereafter I board the plane for my vacation. I am very excited.

Once, again I am sorry I deleted all my photos. I am pretty peeved, hopefully my cell carrier can restore them. If not, I will have a good sob and then hopefully more successfully capture more memories. Until then, have a good one.

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Mopey.

It such a nice day, the birds are chirping, the sun is out and it says its 72 degrees on my phone... And where am I? In my room, on my iPad; moping.

Ill tell you why, I am planning on moving to Nevada in about three weeks and I have been packing. I should be totally up the wall excited and happy... But I'm not. Instead I want to cry and hide in my covers. I am overly stressed and I can't calm myself down. Reasons being:

1. I've got a good job here. I love it, it's what I want to do. What happens when I leave! What if I never get a job like that again? Then I left for nothing and I'm an asshole.

2. I know I have family there to support me but what if I can't get my shit together? Then I am a burden on them and I don't have have my shit together. So once again I'm an asshole.

3. And the biggest reason.. Money. I was super happy that I was maybe moving and I knew moving isn't free, just like everything else in the world... However now I am super stressed because I am trying to fit most of my things into a big suitcase, a carry on and then one or two storage boxes. I have gotten rid of so many things already and I can't stop thinking that this move won't even be worth it because I'm stressing about money. So when I get down there, two boxes and my dogs are going to be sent my way and I keep getting reminded on how expensive it's going to be... Is it worth it? Maybe I should just stay in this godforsaken shit hole. I don't know.

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I've decided.

I've decided that I would rather be that crazy dog lady that makes Pinterest birthday hats for her 12 "fur babies" and children throw rocks at than get married.

 

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We are...

in Raleigh, North Carolina!! Woohoo. We went to our first concert of two today after a 15 hour trip. I don't have many pictures right now, so when I get them on here I will post.

But in the meantime, it's beautiful here. It said it was supposed to be thunder storming for the whole time we were here but honestly it has been pretty close to perfect weather! I am so happy it has turned out this way!

 

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May Day!!

Happy May first! Hope everyone was good!

I have 5 days and about 32 minutes until my flight for Raleigh! Can you tell I'm pretty excited? :)

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Minor Updates.

Not too much from the 17th until now has happened. I still have not put those pictures on my iPad like I said I was going to do (I have been lazy). So honestly, I haven't a clue when those will be put up, I'm so bad at remembering.

I have been mostly working, which has been really tough on my body. I am so exhausted from work its insane, along with being sick since October almost, just has worn me out. I am super ready for summer.

I did actually house sit this weekend. That was nice because I had Mariah and Emily come over for some movies. But I don't think I made the house owner too happy with me. She had me leave the key at the house, which sucks a lot because I am always responsible; I was late getting to the house after work. I felt frazzled because I was getting like a gazillion phone calls and texts! I don't do well under pressure and I seriously wanted to shut down because I was trying to juggle almost four things at once. I ended up at the house (obviously) however I am not too sure I will be house sitting in the near future.

My sister does now know what she got for her birthday. Which we leave for in about 8 days. I am flying herself and I out to North Carolina to go see an Imagine Dragons concert and an AWOLNATION & Smashing Pumpkins Concert. I am super nervous/ excited for it. It'll be a nice break in the last few weeks of school for her & I and an awesome experience! I will be taking a bunch of pictures for that so be prepared for a post. It will happen. I'll just have to write it down to remember haha.

Uhm, another travel update: my cousin has changed my ticket for the summer. So I will be flying down earlier and going somewhere different than expected. I will be going to Denver and road tripping with her and two babies and three dogs to Nevada. It's gonna be quite the experience haha. :) I am excited for that as well. I am going to admit I did have a little personal waterworks festival, I was sad because I will be missing my birthday with my parents and siblings by a day. And also I had signed up for the Color Run with my mom, which I will miss. I don't know why I get so upset over it because my mother is fine with it and I have an awesome summer set up for me! I think I am just too hormonal. Good lord! :) No, but I am super excited for summer. It will be tons of fun.

Oh, I got my pups to the vet. Ricky is on meds for his gums, he got microchipped and a rabies prick. He will have to get blood tests done for Cushing's but otherwise he is good for travel and everything else considering he is 13 years old. Thunder was microchipped and has a slight heart murmur but is good to go for travel as well. So that is good news considering moving is an option in the near-ish future.

Well keep smiling, my comrades! I will be posting soon! :)

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Ugh.

Sometimes I feel like I have got everything together and I know what I want to do with my life ..

Then I start to panic and question myself. Needless to say, I don't know if this is the only thing I want to do with my life. I really want to pursue a degree on Holocaust and Genocide Related Studies. Study in Israel, visit the camps in Poland and Germany...

Then I remember I have an awesome job with money flow. To go back to school, would to basically cut in half or all of my money out of the picture.. Perhaps I will just take courses through Yad Vashem.

I don't know. I'm almost frustrated to the point, I would rather cry than work or go back to school.

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Snow Day.

Well, first off sorry for not being on here for the first 9 days of April. It's actually been quite a busy week. So nothing that's too important, that I can remember, has happened except for this:

Snow day. Yup snow day. Today I didn't have work because the schools closed down due to icy road conditions and snow accumulation. And anyone who knows Alaska, knows they don't shut schools down very often at all. So to say the very least, it sucked.

It started snowing on Saturday, I had to drive into Eagle River to get Thunder shaved {insert shaved Thunder here}

Awww! Yeah yeah yeah. That was a big ordeal in itself because I forgot his rabies vaccination papers at home and forgot which vet he got them and his plane certificate in Nevada from. That was fun.

Anyways, it was seriously white out conditions from Tanaina to Eagle River. It was scary and insane and disheartening. And from Saturday all the way until this morning it had been POURING snow. So as stated before, we had snow day. The dogs and I ventured out and got some really good pictures (I think).

(This was on Saturday. It was pouring snow. My phone didn't catch the montser flakes though.)

 

This picture is super funny because Momo is known to photobomb as many pictures as possible. I think she seriously sees a camera and plans to somehow get herself in the shot. So this was funny to me that there she is! Tiny Momo.

Thunder wasn't so keen on having is picture taken after I threw him in the snow a few times. Haha.

 

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Hello again!

So first off, I took all my photos off of my iPad forgetting that I had said I was going to update you on three things in previous post. So that will have to wait until I pull my laptop out.

And,

Second of all, I have something sup duper über exciting planned for my sisters birthday but unfortunately I think she reads this blog so you will all have to find out when she does.

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Phishing Scams.

It really pisses me off that people have to ruin other people's things!! What is the point of doing this?

I got a text message from an unknown number and I actually fell for it and answered back this time. Only because 1) I had just completely reset and wiped out my phone and couldn't remember if this number was familiar or not and 2) my cousin had sent me a message a couple days earlier asking my to shared something on Facebook also. Although this didn't have to do with Facebook, just with a sharing "app".

I didn't go to this website or app or whatever it was but I did ask if I knew this "person" texting me. So now, (my phone is mainly used for work, has my work email and all) I am scared someone is trying to get into my emails and steal my information. I'm a paranoid person and this is going to keep me up for weeks, not joking. Luckily I have my personal stuff on my iPad and only order shit off of it and not my phone.

But I did delete my Facebook app and my Pinterest and wanelo app just in case.

I hate people. They're infuriating.

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Guilty.

I am guilty of neglecting my blog! I have been soo busy with work and Spring Break was pretty uneventful. ... Kind of I have three things I will touch base on:

1. Oz The Great And Mother Freaking Powerful

2. Why my friends are better than yours...

3. And the first and second hikes of the Butte of the year.

 

I promise come about May my blog will get pretty damn interesting. More things I can talk about will be happening.

Oh and Happy Spring!! It's officially spring.

 

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